Career Anxiety and How Parents Can Help

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As a 25-year veteran executive recruiter, I had the opportunity this summer to teach a career management course to UCLA recent graduates. It opened my eyes to some startling trends. A phenomenon that surprised me was the rise of "snowplow parenting." This is defined as a parenting style that seeks to remove obstacles from a student’s path to prevent them from experiencing pain, failure or discomfort, particularly around academic and career endeavors. Instead of allowing students to register themselves for the course, parents were doing it on their behalf. Some parents even asked if they could attend the class instead of their student or sit in. This level of intervention reflected deeper concerns — parents were feeling the stress of the current job market as much as their recent grad, if not more.

Scholars note that a young person’s soft skills, particularly communication, problem-solving and adaptability, are stunted when guardians act as intermediaries. Critical for workplace success, these skills may remain underdeveloped when young adults rely on parents to handle complex or challenging situations. The Atlantic and New York Times have reported increased instances of parents calling employers on behalf of their adult children or even sitting in on job interviews.  This behavior signals to employers that the candidate may lack autonomy and initiative.

At the same time, I was equally surprised by the fears and anxieties felt by my Gen Z students about the job search process. Their reluctance to show enthusiasm during interviews, lack of preparation and the alarming admission that some had applied to over 1,000 jobs without being qualified revealed a deeper issue. These students were so overwhelmed that they threw applications into the void, hoping something would stick, and then they became despondent when none of it resulted in an interview. I quickly realized that this was about their fear of the unknown — failure — and fear of entering the workforce without a clear idea of what they wanted to do.

In my previous series “Gen Z in the Workforce,” I described how this generation was under pressure, with many struggling with mental health, and figuring out their path was challenging. The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic has only worsened their uncertainty. Internships were canceled, job opportunities dried up and the usual pathways to building work experience disappeared overnight.  As a result, many were going into the workforce “blind,” unprepared and unsure of how to navigate the complexities of today’s job market. Some were even postponing their entry into the workforce altogether, opting for graduate school to avoid the job search.

My summer experience taught me a great deal about the stresses facing today’s graduates and the well-intentioned but sometimes overbearing role of parents. Eighty percent of the students expressed feeling tremendous pressure from their parents to hurry up and land a job. If parents really want to help, they can utilize some practical strategies and support techniques to help young adults without enabling them. They can offer to research potential companies, but they should also allow the job-seeker to reach out and connect on their own. They can listen to the challenges of their adult children but should refrain from “fixing” the situation. Guardians can also help by suggesting networking strategies but should let the young adult take the lead.

My course, The Classroom, included the benefit of office hours where students were able to schedule time with me to discuss anything about their job search. I created a judgement-free environment where they can feel comfortable being open about their frustrations and disappointments about the process. My advice for snowplow parents is to start the shift from over-involvement to a more supportive, hands-off role that fosters independence.

Here’s what that looks like:

1. Let Failure Be a Teacher: Failure is necessary for growth. By stepping in to solve every problem, parents prevent their student from learning resilience, problem-solving and how to navigate setbacks independently. Encourage parents to view failure not as something to avoid but as a steppingstone to success.
2. Trust Their Abilities: College graduates are capable adults who need opportunities to prove themselves. They may not always get it right, but trusting them to find their way will help build their confidence. Parents are encouraged to voice their belief in their young adult’s abilities, which can provide emotional support without micromanaging.
3. Provide Guidance, Not Control: Act as a sounding board rather than decision-makers. Offer advice when asked but allow the young adults to make the final call on important decisions. This approach nurtures independence and teaches young adults to weigh options and accept the consequences.
4. Redefine Support: Parents should transition from "doers" to "supporters." Being supportive does not mean fixing every issue. Instead, it means offering encouragement, listening and showing empathy. It's OK to observe from afar but to trust the process.
5. Let Them Come to You First: If a parent has made it known they are there for support, the young adult will feel free to express themselves earnestly when ready. They may come to seek advice or air frustrations. Regardless, the goal remains the same - keep them moving forward with confidence and encouragement.
6. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results: Focus on their effort and determination rather than just the outcomes. Whether or not a project or job application is successful, praise their persistence, reinforcing resilience and perseverance.
7. Encourage Networking Over Handholding: Instead of directly intervening in their job search or career steps, encourage them to build their network. Parents can help connect them to professionals, but their young adult needs to have those conversations and relationships on their terms.
8. Understand the Long-Term Value: Allowing their young adult to struggle and overcome challenges now will set them up for long-term success. By stepping back, guardians are equipping their graduate with critical life skills and giving them the space to grow, explore and learn from their own experiences.

The Alumni Association is also here for encouragement and support. Bruins have access to the largest network of UCLA alumni professionals through UCLA ONE, where they can have industry-specific questions answered, seek an informational interview or search jobs posted by Bruins. Furthermore, the Association:

• Offers professional development workshops taught by seasoned career coaches
• Runs the Bruin Success podcast where established Bruins share lessons from their career journey
• Provides in-person networking opportunities with Bruins from a variety of fields

As mentioned earlier, I recently taught The Classroom I, II and, coming next spring, part III. The course is targeted for recent graduates seeking to gain valuable insights and practical tools for their job search. The sessions are recorded and available for both course participants and non-participants.

Ultimately, these students are all Bruins. Why shouldn’t we have every confidence in the world that they can succeed on their own? They beat the odds, they got into UCLA and they successfully graduated from the No. 1 public university in the country.     

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Amy Rueda is a 25-year veteran of executive search, who has placed CEOs and C-suite executives across multiple industries and functional areas. Her passion for leading diversity initiatives that focus on change management and employee engagement is reflected in her portfolio of accomplishments. Rueda studied political science and was born and raised in Los Angeles. Her previous articles can be viewed at https://alumni.ucla.edu/career-engineering.

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